Tale of the April Fool

The moon cast a faint glow across the trees in Sweet Apple Acres. Granny Smith closed the curtains in the living room and headed back to her seat. Applejack and Big Macintosh were away in Canterlot on Apple business and Granny Smith was watching Applebloom and her friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. The cutie mark crusaders were staying the night at Applebloom's house and having managed to tire themselves out crusading the day away, had finally settled down, much to Granny Smith`s delight.

They huddled together in the living room, behind a couch fortified with pillow walls, Granny Smith sat soggy-eyed across the room in her chair. They sat in a triangle, facing each other, a lone lantern providing light for their night. They spoke of their schoolwork and joked about the teacher, every few minutes one would poke her head out from the pillows and check to see if Granny Smith was still awake. When at last they heard snores, they sealed off their fortress for the night.

Applebloom spoke first, pulling the lantern close to her "Alright, now that Granny's asleep, are y'all ready for cutie mark crusader story tellers?!" the crusaders nodded in unison. "Well, Who's first then?" Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked blankly at each other, then back to Applebloom, who had a wide grin on her face. "I guess the honour is mine!"

The Tale of the April Fool, as told by Applebloom
A long time ago there was an apple factory in Ponyville. The ponies there worked hard and long to pump out all of the apple wedges that were enjoyed all over Equestria, each one being carefully measured and re-measured before being cut by hoof. Pistons shot down on to a long conveyor, squashing and preparing other apples for juicing. Every day, the sound of shuffling hooves and heavy parts could be heard throughout the factory, every day up until the accident.

It was the first day of april, ominous clouds hung above the factory doors. They creaked as "he" walked in. Whatever his name was, it was lost to history. He would never be remembered for the years he worked devoutly, or for all the time he spent with his family, or even for the time he won employee of the month. No, he would forever be remembered for what happened on this particular day.

He was supposed to be off today but factory needed all the workers they could scrounge up for the upcoming holiday, Applefest. He walked to his station, next to the conveyor and began to inspect the incoming apples. His eyes were sore and red, he'd been up drinking late last night thinking he'd have the day off. As the apples floated by on the conveyor he watched for rotten apples and picked them off.

He sat on his stool and watched apple after apple pass him, as he always did. His eyelides grew heavy and he considered asking for the rest of the day off. As he turned towards his supervisor's office, he noticed from the corner of his eye a rotten apple on the conveyor. It was headed directly in to a fresh batch of apple juice. He lurched forward, reaching out with both arms.

The factory closed it's doors for the last time that day, by order of Celestia. They say a ghost of an old pony still haunts the empty grounds, looking for his hooves, or maybe it was an apple, or maybe he was looking for... a little filly to eat!


Applebloom shone the lantern on her face, letting it play marionette with her features. She looked to her friends in anticipation. "That was stupid." Scootaloo said bluntly. "It wasn't even scary!" Sweetie Belle peeked her head from under a pillow "I thought it was pretty scary... but why didn't he just let the apple fall in? It was only one apple after all..."

"Yeah! Your story didn't even make sense!" Applebloom frowned, but her face quickly brightened as she turned to her flank. It was, as expected, still blank and her frown snuck back on to her face. "Let's see you do better!" she said bitterly.
   
"With pleasure" the orange pegasus chimed.

The Tale of the April Fool, as told by Scootaloo
Rain poured on the cold streets of Fillydelphia. Newspapers were carelessly tossed on to apartment steps, it was early in the morning and few ponies had gotten up. If you listened hard enough, you could hear a filly scream through the pitter patter of the rain.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" the cloaked pegasus shouted. A masked pony was holding a young mare hostage in a dark alley "You can't escape from... Scootaloo!" With that, the pegasus knocked back the cloak, revealing a vibrant orange coat and purple mane. "The absolute most best super pony that ever lived!" she flexed her fully grown wings with pride.

"Uwa-? Scootaloo! It can't be! You should be dead! The Fool said..." the masked pony began to step back, letting go of the mare's purse.

"That old deadbeat? HA! Don't make me laugh!" she stepped closer to the crook.

"But-" BLAM! An orange hoof silenced the bandit with one mega strong punch. Scootaloo picked up the purse and gave it back to it's owner who thanked her and made her way out of the alley. scootaloo turned to the criminal, who seemed to be regaining consciousness. "Now, tell me what you know about the April Fool!" she pushed him against the wall.

"H-he said he had a plan in store for you... he said he would put it in to action on April 1st..." Scootaloo let slip a slight look of concern, that was today. She wasn't able to hide her worry  from the criminal and a sly grin slid across his masked face. "Oh? You didn't know?" the pony began to cackle.

"That's enough out of you!" pushing him harder against the wall, she began to remove the mask "Let's see who you really are!" cold, deep-red eyes stared back at Scootaloo's shocked expression. Her jaw hung from her head, she stuttered "A-a-ah..." stepping away slowly, letting the pony fall to the ground.

"Robot. Yes. A NINJA ROBOT!!!" the pony got to his feet and let loose a cluster of rocket proppelled shuriken from his hooves. Scootaloo dipped and dodged under and around them, narrowly avoiding an untimely demise. "Blast it all!" his feet shot out fire and he began to fly away. "ROBO-NINJA-PONY.. AWaaaaay!" the pony's mechanical voice rang through the street.

"NOT SO FAST EVIL-DOER!" Scootaloo shot skyward, her wings straining to keep up with the robot. PEW! PEW! PCHOOOOOOO-KABLOOIE! Scootaloo shot out laser after missile, all from the utility-belt she'd been wearing this whole time. More robot's blasted out of nearby windows, some crept out of utility hatches and others still seemed to soar down from above the cloud line. She shot a beam of light from her eyes, cutting several robots in half mid-flight. "TAKE THAT, DANGEROUS ENEMIES!"They exploded in a display of circuits and metal, both of which rained down on the rooftops, charred remains exploding on impact.


"Um, Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle's voice pulled Scootaloo out of her trance. She'd been bashing two pillows together, spewing out sound effects and cries of horror. "I think that's enough of your... story." Scootaloo crossed her arms, clearly disappointed and blew stray stands of hair off her face. Sweetie Belle's stare was unwavering. Applebloom was stiffling her laughter.

"Fine, I was just getting to the good part though... your loss."

"I'm sure..." Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes "I guess it's my turn now. Ahem."

The Tale of the April Fool, as told by Sweetie Belle
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a beautiful princess. Her name was April and she lived in her father's enormous castle. Every day the king would bring an assortment of eligible bachelors for her to choose from, and every day he would send them all away disappointed. She didn't love them, she didn't love their plots of land or their stories of conquest or even the songs they sung to her. Her love belonged to a single pony in all the kingdom. That pony was the court jester.

When April's mother had passed away, several years ago, all her father worried about was finding a husband for his daughter. All of a sudden, ponies started showing up left and right claiming to be the perfect match for April and her considerable inheritance. Everypony treated her differently, except for one pony. The Fool. He continued to play his lute and pull his charming pranks like he always did, in fact he hardly seemed to notice her.

She sat at the royal dining table, as she did every night, and scoffed at the latest batch of potential mates. They seemed to be growing more pathetic as of late, perhaps the kingdom was running out of stallions? Her father stared at her glumly as she refused the hand of the last bachelor.

"April... you know I just want what's best for my people, don't you?" the words struck her as odd, who was father to be asking a question like that, he'd always done what was best for the peasants. "Of course, father!" she replied. His eyes were ringed and tinged gray. He struggled to his seat.

"I'm growing old, April." he coughed in to a napkin. "I need somepony to take over my kingdom... I need an heir." he stood up without touching his food "You have until tomorrow evening. I'm sorry." he headed towards staircase without waiting for a response.

April sat, her jaw extended and her eyes open wide. She knew this day would come eventually, but so soon? She would have to make her move now, there was no escaping it. She waited for the night to blanket her movements and made her way in to the district where the Fool made his home. She gathered some pebbles from the street in to her hooves and began to lightly toss them at his window.

His door swung open and a lantern popped out from inside, waving about. "Who's there? Whatever your selling I don't want it!" his eyes darted back and forth wildy, straining to see in the dark. The jester looked different without his suit on, a respectable figure April thought. As she approached, his wild stare calmed and he spoke quietly "Princess? Is that you? What are you doing in this part of town all alone!?"

He let her in to his home and began to prepare some tea while she explained that she would be forced to decide who to marry tomorrow and how she didn't want to marry anypony she'd met so far. He walked to the table, looking at her, and set a cup of tea in front of her. "Well, there's always tonight, right?" he said warmly, completely different than his usual chirpy voice.

She whimpered a soft "What do you mean?" before letting him take hold of her hoof and back. He kissed her softly, she wrapped her arms around his body, pulling herself closer to him.


"Don't stop! I like where this is going!" the raspy voice interrupted. Sweetie Belle let out a surprised squeek and covered her mouth with her hooves as their pillow ceiling was taken away. Applebloom was quick explain herself "We were just telling stories Granny! Honest!"

"April fools stories, if my ears were right." Granny Smith said, the nods of the crusaders confirmed her suspicions and she made room for herself among them, dismantling their make-shift fort. "How about I tell you the real story of the April Fool?" the cutie mark crusaders only continued to nod, still shocked that their sound-proof fortress had been undone by an old granny.

"Well, it all started when I was about your age..."

The Tale of the April Fool, as told by Granny Smith
A long time ago, there was a poet who lived here in Ponyville. He sang songs for all the mares and wrote his poems under the moon light. He sported a small beard that he liked to scratch while writing. Problem was, all his songs and poems were about the moon. His cutie mark was a folded paper, if I do recall.

I was in school when the news first reached me, we got the rest of that day off. It all happened in the very begining of april, I may be old but I can remember that day clear as crystal. A traitor.. right here in Ponyville. None of us could believe it, there hadn't been a Lunite for as long as anypony could remember. Now, we all knew this guy was eccentric but none of us ever figured him to be a traitor. He was always so quiet and easy to approach, real friendly-like. They never even showed us no evidence, they just hauled him off.

Celestia held a town meeting that day. First time she ever step foot in Ponyville, I reckon'. She told us they weren't gonna hurt that poet. She said she'd changed her ways since the last rebellion, not that they'll ever tell you youngins about that. We tried asking questions about what he did, but she just ignored us. Nope, she said they'd take him away to Canterlot, maybe slap his wrists or what have ya and send him right back home healthy as ever.

Took a few weeks but sure enough he came back, or at least we think it was him. He was never the same. He always wore a hat covering the whole back of his head. His cutie mark just up and vanished and he never did write another poem. He didn't even remember his own name. Poor fella had to take up cart-pullin' just to make ends meet. I don't know what they did to that stallion in Canterlot, but I'll tell you this, you'd have to be a real fool to cross Celestia.


"Is... is that it?" Applebloom asked, Scootaloo joined in "What happened to him after all that?" the two fillies were waiting attentively for an answer, they shared a concerned expression. Sweetie Belle peeked from behind the  couch "That was just a story, right? Celestia would never take away somepony's cutie mark!"

Granny Smith sighed "Yeah, just a story, they all lived happily ever after. Now y'all best get to bed." she scuffled Appleblooms mane and sent the fillies up to their room. She looked at an old photograph of a young filly and stallion staring up at the moon. "Just a story..."